Jakob Nielsen Drinking Game

Jakob Nielsen is the leading web usability expert, and he has the website useit.com. You have to have red some of his stuff to find this funny. If you are into web usability you may find this funny, otherwise it may be a bit narrow and inside humor.

This was originally written by Steve Champeon and Jeff Veen.

           The Jakob Nielsen Drinking Game

1. Go to any web or internet related conference.
2. Sneak in lots to drink.
3. Sneak in lots of friends.
4. Attend the obligatory "User-Centered Web Design" keynote session
featuring Web Usability Guru(tm) Jakob Nielsen.
5. Follow these rules:

Every time he says "micropayment", take one drink. 

Every time his reasoning relies on having solved "the bandwidth
problem", take one drink.

Every time he uses a made-up word like "linkrot" to sound more like
Tufte, take one drink.

Every time he forgets that design can be fun, take one drink. 

Every time he excuses his own refusal to observe the rules he dictates
to everyone else on the grounds that he "knows his audience", take one

If he mentions scrolling, take one drink. 

If he mentions that users don't scroll, take one drink. 

If he mentions link colors, drink: once for "blue"
once for "purple" three for "red", which nobody who's used a
browser since 1993 thinks of as a followed link color, anyway. It's the
"active link" color, dammit. 

If he mentions the Macintosh desktop metaphor, have a pretzel. 

Every time he quotes statistics from an unrelated study to prove a
point about Web usability, take one drink.

If he actually uses a relevant study, finish bottle. 

If Nielsen admits he got his design skills from watching Jerry
Pournelle work on his "web page", clutch heart
and die.

The content of this page was created: 2010-10-16 and last modified: 2010-10-16.

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